So, what’s your excuse for not wearing pants?
For many of us, I think it’s that time of year. The week between Christmas and New Year’s, short yet long, technically working but often not. The time that, in years past, I might wear jeans to the office like the rebel lawyer I am, but only because everyone else has likewise checked out and no one’s likely to care (as long as I’m also wearing a conservative blouse and stylish yet sensible flats, natch).
It’s the holidays, after all!
Except this year, I’ve already been wearing jeans since I started working from home, post-maternity leave and mid-pandemic. They’re a fancy upgrade from the stretchy maternity knitwear I’d lived in for over a year and yes, I realize that’s longer than pregnancy lasts. While I wasn’t about to sit in my own house wearing a suit, changing out of my pajamas into denim felt like “getting ready for work.” But now I just don’t know that I can be bothered.
It’s 2020, after all!
But here’s the real question – why, at a certain age, does it become socially unacceptable to go without pants entirely? Sweats, jammies, even an adult-sized onesie, are all a step up from sitting around in one’s undies. If I knew a coworker was wearing yoga pants on a zoom call I’d care not one bit. If I knew they were sitting around in boxers, that would be rather different, and I’m using “different” in that euphemistic way that means “actually kinda weird,” and not just because they risk a Toobin-cident (although that’s probably something to consider).
No, there seems to be a sliding scale on the appropriateness of no-pants-wearing that encompasses things like:
- Setting. Doctor’s office: may be acceptable to lose the pants. Dentist’s office: never okay.
- Pant replacement options. Swimsuit at the pool: great. Underwear at the pool: probably better to put your pants back on.
- Age. This seems to be a big one.
My eleven-month-old could literally enter any establishment and engage in any activity without wearing pants and everyone would squeal, “Awwww, look at the wee little baby with the cuuutttteee chubby thighs!” (Let’s put a pin in discussing when chubby thighs *apparently* become less cute and why that’s dumb.) My three-year-old daughter, however, is getting to an age where we let her roam pants-free at home, but we require pants in public. She’s not always okay with this bright-line rule.
Part of her resistance seems to be her growing independence. Some days she might wear pants, if she can choose between a few different pairs. Some days she might wear pants, if only she were presented with acceptable options, none of which seem to be in her drawer. Some days no options are options.
I’ve heard that some autistic kids struggle with clothing due to textures and sensory issues. I don’t believe that’s the case with Lina. Quite the opposite, she seeks out the scratchiest of tags and rubs them repeatedly. I regret the tags I cut out of her clothing before this pattern emerged, thinking (foolishly) they might be uncomfortable. If a shirt doesn’t have a tag to rub, Lina can’t be bothered to wear it.
So I don’t think pants pose a comfort issue. But maybe they pose a “I just don’t feel like wearing pants today” issue. Or maybe a “why do I have to wear pants when my brother doesn’t” issue. Or maybe it’s something else. How do I interpret her shaking of head and pushing away of fabric? How many options do I give? How much leeway? What if she would wear pants if only I could figure out she wants the gray pair with patterns of dogs and cats? And what if those pants happened to get too small? At what point do I say, “Pants stay on,” and end the negotiations? And, really, would it be so bad to let her go to the grocery store without pants once in a while?
I suspect three is a tricky age for lots of kids, and even when they can share their thoughts, they might be less than helpful. For instance, maybe Lina is trying to explain that she wants to wear pants made of raspberry jelly and moon rocks. Knowing that preference won’t exactly help us get her dressed. But I’d love to know nonetheless.
Luckily, here at the end of December with basically no place to be, I have to agree that pants are highly overrated, for kids and adults alike. Lina is welcome to let her legs run free, and I will snuggle mine in the comfiest of comfy sweats.
It’s the holidays of 2020, after all!
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